As a gay latin in a 25 year relationship with my husband, I find your theory appalling. I am raising a 4 year old daughter that has to regularly answer questions about her two dads. It would be worse if my husband and I walked around forcing our sexuality down everyone's throat by using a forced and non specific gay accent. Biological women do not sound like femme men and femme men do make assimilation that much more difficult.
I have never felt the need to act and speak in the feminine manner. I do not hide that I am gay and I don't have a desire to wear a dress. Sometimes when you think everyone else needs healing or that everyone else is an asshole, the reality is that you are indeed the one with mental and emotional issues. Be who you want to be, but don't pretend like femmes and transgender men/ women are doing the "heavy work". You would not want someone else forcing themselves on you.
As a femme, you will get more stares and you will draw attention to whoever you are with. You don't have to change who you believe your best self to be. Just realize that opting out of the attention you draw is a kind courtesy. Not everyone wants anyone, so if they say not interested, stop assuming they are automatically ahole.
My husband and I make it very clear that femme men do not define the community. In our case, we do it to make our daughters life easier. It's not always about what you want as a femme man. Further, society has not yet accepted everything about the transgender community. It doesn't help that as honorary members of the LGBQ community, transgender people often tell everyone they are not gay. Funny, since they have no problem taking funds from the Gay community before the transition. It is only after the change that they deny the very community that helped support their cause.
You have made me do a deeper dive, absolutely love that. The other day I was writing about dating as a dominate yet feminine appearing woman. I did not even think about the "no femmes" culture and how I may be influenced. Thank you for this!
Woww I really needed this too right now, thank you thank you! And YES I can attest, dating a fellow feminine man is all the more wonderful of an experience!
Eloquently, elegantly said.
As a gay latin in a 25 year relationship with my husband, I find your theory appalling. I am raising a 4 year old daughter that has to regularly answer questions about her two dads. It would be worse if my husband and I walked around forcing our sexuality down everyone's throat by using a forced and non specific gay accent. Biological women do not sound like femme men and femme men do make assimilation that much more difficult.
I have never felt the need to act and speak in the feminine manner. I do not hide that I am gay and I don't have a desire to wear a dress. Sometimes when you think everyone else needs healing or that everyone else is an asshole, the reality is that you are indeed the one with mental and emotional issues. Be who you want to be, but don't pretend like femmes and transgender men/ women are doing the "heavy work". You would not want someone else forcing themselves on you.
As a femme, you will get more stares and you will draw attention to whoever you are with. You don't have to change who you believe your best self to be. Just realize that opting out of the attention you draw is a kind courtesy. Not everyone wants anyone, so if they say not interested, stop assuming they are automatically ahole.
My husband and I make it very clear that femme men do not define the community. In our case, we do it to make our daughters life easier. It's not always about what you want as a femme man. Further, society has not yet accepted everything about the transgender community. It doesn't help that as honorary members of the LGBQ community, transgender people often tell everyone they are not gay. Funny, since they have no problem taking funds from the Gay community before the transition. It is only after the change that they deny the very community that helped support their cause.
You have made me do a deeper dive, absolutely love that. The other day I was writing about dating as a dominate yet feminine appearing woman. I did not even think about the "no femmes" culture and how I may be influenced. Thank you for this!
Woww I really needed this too right now, thank you thank you! And YES I can attest, dating a fellow feminine man is all the more wonderful of an experience!